I thought I’d start this journal up again online because I thought that maybe I had some things I may be going through that other people could relate to and possibly respond to. But I keep getting the feeling that nobody has any idea how I feel – and I don’t want to make this experience unique or anything. I don’t want to be alone in my feelings, however I keep finding myself there….alone that is.
Maybe I’m talking around in the wrong circles.
I just don’t know what to say to people any more. I have no more small talk in me. Have I reached my capacity? Maybe I don’t know how to relate to anyone any more….

Believe Me Sometimes
Should I give you words
And if you don’t believe them
Should I care
Oh all these times
We fight without a reason
I must be blind
To believe you
Believe me sometimes…
I could be a saint to you
And I could play a heroine for you
I could be a lover to you, should I?
‘Cause I might just fall for you
To choose to fight for love and love to fight
Is to get as much as you lose, sister
I hate to see you go
I hate the way you’re slipping back
To a life you never wanted
I wish somehow
I could leave you something
Leave me something
Something more
Oh I could be a saint to you
And I could play a heroine for you
I could be a lover to you, should I?
‘Cause I might just fall for you
Should I believe you
Should I believe you
Should I?
‘Cause I might just fall for you
Oh I could be a saint for you
And I could play a heroine for you
Should I believe you
Should I believe you
Should I?
‘Cause I might just fall for you
-Xymox

So here I am – deep thoughts by Cane Sebastian. Oh – that’s Zane’s pseudo name. I guess I should find one of my own.
So for those of you who ever visited me starting about 5 years ago, you know I used to keep a journal online. I had a few avid readers. I still have the old entries of my blathering. And I had thought to give re-access to anyone that wanted to read the old stuff – but then I read what I used to write – and I thought – what the hell – that was then, this is now. Time to move on to the next activity. And so, this is the new journal.
If you’re really interested in reading the crap I used to write, just let me know. Otherwise – I’ll just leave it in the background for my amusement as I grow up and away from it.